


A good old-fashioned muggle prank

by marylou



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-26
Updated: 2020-08-26
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:21:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26127940
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marylou/pseuds/marylou
Summary: Hermione introduces Fred and George to a common muggle joke.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 14





	A good old-fashioned muggle prank

Fred and George Weasley strolled confidently into the potions classroom. It was still a few minutes before class started, so students were still milling around; preparing supplies, gossiping with friends, or, in Fred and George’s case, mentally preparing for what would both be the highest point of their lives and also possibly the end of their lives. It would be worth it, though, and it was a sacrifice they were willing to make. Some things just had to be done.

The boys got their books out on their desks, but they didn’t sit down yet. They had to set the stage.

They began pulling supplies out of their bags: quills, notebooks, inkwells. . . anything imaginable that could be used in a potions class and a few things that couldn’t; like sandwiches, ties, a Weasley sweater, and a set of keys that bore a striking resemblance to Filch’s and was quickly stuffed back into the bag with a sly look around the room.

But Fred seemed to be missing something. He dug frantically in his bag. His actions became even more wild as he failed to find whatever it was he was looking for.

By now, most of the other students were already in their seats. Those who had noticed Fred’s agitated searching were now openly staring at him, expecting some great show. They didn’t have to wait long. 

“Where is it?” Fred muttered. George pretended to notice Fred’s frantic frenzy for the first time.

“What’re you looking for?”

Fred didn’t answer the question. “Have you seen it?” he asked instead.

“Seen what?”

Fred rummaged deeper in his bag. “I know I put it in here somewhere. I remember seeing it last night. I set it out on the desk because I knew I’d need it today, and then don’t remember putting it in my bag. . .” he trailed off. “Maybe it’s still in our room.”

George shrugged. “Well, whatever it is, you can just ask Snape if you can borrow one from him just for today’s class.”

By now the entire class was watching them. Snape sat at his desk, studiously pretending to be marking papers and not keeping a close eye on the two Weasleys. They were up to something, he knew it, but as to what it was, he was completely lost. Sometimes it was easier for him to just pretend to be oblivious. At least that way he could get a few minutes of quiet.

Fred sighed dramatically. “Fine, you’re no help. I’ll just go ask Snape, then.” George rolled his eyes. “Mate, that’s what I told you to do in the first place.”

An entire room full of eyes followed Fred up to Snape’s desk. Snape readied himself mentally for whatever ridiculousness the brats had come up with.

A hush fell over the crowd.

“Sir,” Fred began, his voice plaintive, pleading, and pitiful. “Do you have any updog? I must have forgotten it. I know how important it is for today’s class, and I’m really sorry I forgot. Could I maybe borrow some, just for today? I swear I’ll return it!”

“Some what, Weasley?” 

“Some updog. Do you have any updog I can borrow?”

Snape could feel a headache growing behind his eyes. He rubbed his forehead, trying to remind himself that this was the last class of the day and he had a bottle of firewhisky in his private chambers.

“Weasley,” he finally said tiredly, “What in Merlin’s name is updog?”

The silence that had fallen earlier over the classroom now plunged into the deepest abyss in the world. From Snape’s panicked expression, he seemed to realize that he had made a mistake, but there was no way for him to take the words back.

Fred let the silence stretch out longer than was necessary.

“Not much, dog, what about you?”

The entire class gasped.

Fred couldn’t stop the ear-to-ear smirk that spread across his face. Snape glanced frantically around the room, as if looking for someone to help, but there was no one. Silence held for a few more seconds, and then someone snickered. Snape whipped around and glared them into submission, then turned his glowering scowl back on Fred. 

“Seventy-five points from Gryffindor, Mr. Weasley,” he said softly, the tension obvious in his strained voice.

Fred paled. He hadn’t expected that much.

“And get back to your seat. You’ve made the entire class late.”

* * *

Hermione was waiting for Fred and George at the Fat Lady’s portrait. Her arms were folded in disapproval.

“Do you wanna know how it went?” George asked with a grin on his face.

“I know how it went. I’ve seen the hourglass, and so has the rest of the school.”

“Oh. But at least they don’t know that you helped us.”

“And if they ever find out, I will kill you.”

“Or worse, get us expelled.” George and Fred laughed. Hermione rolled her eyes, trying to suppress a smile.

“Hey, do you have any more muggle tricks like that that you can tell us? The updog one was brilliant! You should’ve seen Snape’s face!”

Hermione thought for a couple seconds. She hadn’t intended to start the twins on a round of muggle jokes, but they had kept interrupting her studying. Now she felt terrifyingly like Pandora. What new evils had she released upon Hogwarts?

But she relented. “Fine, but don’t use this on Professor Snape. He would actually kill you for this.”

They nodded in agreement.

“Spell icup for me.”


End file.
